The Hammock Swings

The hammock swings -
embryonic red
seeps through shut lids

numb and nascent
I rock
I rock I rock between my mother’s bones

Inner Landscape

I’ve been sent to Fuck Off Land
There to forever dwell
I don’t know where the fuck it is
But it feels like hell
My eyes two salty fountains
Spewing water to the sun
My lips drying deserts
My arms undone
Body lacerated
Feet raw sore
Stones jump up to hit me
My voice cries “More!”
For I’ve been sent to Fuck Off Land
There to forever dwell
I don’t know where the fuck it is
And I feel unwell.

The Writing Moment

The writing moment?

At best a flash flood of words.

Worst, dry mouth can’t spit.

cyber fuck

infected with loneliness
she fell
into the arms
of the flesh free
no strings attached
cyber fuck

cunt shaved
clit licked
wrists strapped
nipples nipped
bottom slapped
arse whipped
rimmed
and to the hilt
fucked

infected with loneliness
she fell
she fell
she fell
into the arms of the cyber fuck

Unsaid

"True things are too big or too small or in any case the wrong size to fit the template of language."

Lighthouse Keeping, Jeanette Winterson

So,
how do you tell
your child
her lover
is dead?

she took the words from my eyes hands and face breathed them to life with the wail of her breath we slashed our breasts chewed into the earth clumped out our hair salt streamed from our eyes dragged branches behind erased his footstep

That’s how
I told her
her lover was
dead.

Home Cure For Obsession

I have tried

alcohol gluttony starvation
nicotine sugar chocolate earth tea
herbal pills sleeping waking walking
pacing laughing crying
cognitive therapy
flagellation drugs masturbation
prayer prostration meditation
writing painting screaming ashes
sackcloth self harm

hypnotherapy
oxygen deprivation
begging sobbing pleading
electric shock isolation
talking listening
Dr Phil
a nice cup of tea

Any suggestions?

Bed clothes hug me warm and orange
The clock found in a disused dairy sixty years ago ticks
My father cleans the mechanism with an oiled feather
The moult occurs with the demise of summer
Autumn leaves are sluggish as they fall
Chinese tea unfurls like flags under water
Daffodils form underground
Pansies spend a short life in meditation
Love is an evolutionary device for species survival
My sanity depends on the efficient function of dopamine receptors
Limerence defeats the ability to live a life of happiness
Heart beats are measured out by God at the time of birth
Death is a release
Trains transport bodies to other places
Use by dates are dishonest
Dying is an evolutionary device for species survival
I murdered the sweetness in my soul
The crumpet rose like a full moon from the toaster
On his death bed I could not say I love you
Memory is an evolutionary device for species survival
A psychological storm is meteorology in the head
Her hands evolved to caress skin
Skin flakes away as human snow
I felt sorrow during my final menstruations
My clothes were discovered piled at the foot of the bed
Her body melted then evaporated
She was no longer the woman she used to be
Did anyone find a mobile on the stair?
She called the puppy with sweetness then hit it with a brick
Personality is an evolutionary device for species survival
The house breathes with the ghosts of the departed
My face is more wrinkled everyday
Legally no laws have been broken
Below the Plimsoll line unnamed fish dart between the weed
Fear is an evolutionary device for species survival
Limerence is a joyful escape from reality
Flying stones will hurt you
Drowning can occur in two centimeters of water
I have no god to pray to
My heart has not stopped
Sometimes it tries to race to the finish line
Snails leave trails to their hiding places
Too much sugar can destroy you
My mother lifts sponge cake from the wood stove oven
Romance is an evolutionary device for species survival
Passion paradox occurs if you love too much
I kicked a man when he was down
As a child she fell in love with the colours of pencils
Drawing is an acquired skill
Once you have it you don’t have to think about it
The cleaner comes at daybreak
She sweeps mourning under the stair
When chains break signposts direct to new expectations
Small change often slipped through her fingers
Change is an evolutionary device for species survival